Please help

http://momsfuneral.chipin.com/getting-to-fl-to-help-care-for-my-sister

Not sure right now

A crypic post

I decoded

But there are not enough tears

I should have been first

Am i greedy

Not wanting this?

I am always wanting to be left alone

By just the annoying things

And stupid people

But this has seemingly ignored me

Its hurting me

Thru those I love

You will be gone

And again I will be alone

One less good thing

In my life thats too long

I do not want to be forever

I would never again love

I will remember you

ALWAYS

With the others

ALWAYS

You are always welcome

I f'd up

and just ruined a friendship

this may be the last post

Yesterday

...was so hard.

Hubby decided to be all insinuative about me not comming back. Well if you are feeling that way maybe there is a reason.

Anyway he realized what a shit he was being and then got all apologetic and loving. Not the right move exlax. And started making empty promises about how getting me down to see Tucker was the most important thing to him right now. I have such a hard time beliving that.

Anyway

Should hopefully be designing more fundraising shirts today and will post if I do get them done and up.

Holding the tears

Yeah

That's what I am doing now

Yep

Right now

It's hard

I am so close to just going and hiding so I can cry without interference.

I know it's a few years away

But still

I can see it in my head

I wish I wasn't this way!

I would rather live in glorious oblivion to the future.

At least this future anyway.

Why can't it be seeing a miraculous recovery again?

This might be worse than loosing my brother or my son...

Damn music

IT can lift you up or bring you crashing down so hard you don't want to move and all you want to do is hold your friend and cry.

Don't Speak by No Doubt

doing that to me right now

If me moving to Fl would keep Tucker alive just 1 yr longer I would be gone tomorrow.

So lost

Thats what I will be.

On the day that my friend

Leaves me.

Just one last time

Thats all I ask

For us to hang

Before

It is too late for her

To have fun

Anymore

The only people

That will even think to help

It has to be a year or less

Then

She will not be able to do

All the things we haven't had the chance to.

All I ask

From the Lord Above

Is that He help me get

The time to have with her

Before

It's

Too

Late